UrsulaV (ursulav) wrote,

Cold Turkey - Day 1

Well, here we are--first day completely off Effexor!

And y'know, I feel pretty good.

Actually, really good.

Actually, really really...

...oh, so this is what mania feels like?

It's pretty neat. I feel a kind of angry euphoria. I want to kiss the world or kick it in the nuts or possibly both. I feel young and hot and vital and creative and horny and dynamic and a trifle pissed off.

It's no less unnatural a feeling than withdrawal-induced depression, but it's certainly quite a lot more fun. I suspect that my company at the moment would be, as I recall from my more severely bipolar friends, entertaining but exhausting. (Come to think of it, it might be like that anyway....)

I DEFINITELY suspect that I should not go shopping in this condition.

No major head zaps, but a few minor ones, and definite spells of mild light-headedness. Fortunately all those drugs I did in my youth come to my rescue yet again--I have a VERY well developed autopilot--and it's not so bad that the internal monitor is going "We shouldn't drive like this."* My eyes are extremely bloodshot--I look like I've been smoking up since dawn--but I actually suspect that has less to do with the Effexor and a lot more to do with the lingering cough from the flu doin' a number on the blood vessels.

Hopefully this manic fit will settle down before long--it's nice to visit, but it'd be impossible to live here--but so far, so good.

*I suspect that either alcohol or exhaustion will worsen this a lot more than is usual for me, though.
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