UrsulaV (ursulav) wrote,

I have this tube of gouache.

Well, perhaps "had" would be a better word.

It was a brand put out by Holbein, of antique colors, which was labelled entirely in Japanese except for teeny print saying "Holbein Antique Gouache" and which I got several tubes cheap of when the art supply store discontinued the lot. They're odd colors, with a sort of faded, organic look, meant to reproduce the colors you find in old silk paintings and so forth. I picked up a few of 'em on a whim--who am I to resist a buck a tube?--and loved 'em, although they're not colors I get a chance to use all that often. I haven't been able to find them anywhere else, and they stink to high heaven, with this burnt, acrid, probably-carcinogenic stench when wet, so I can see why my store stopped carrying 'em.

But on my moth-catching painting, as I was painting faded blue, I thought "YES! That's the color!" and dug out that tube of antique blue.

I attempted to open the cap. This did not come to pass.

I got the pliers which I keep shoved in my brush holder for such occasions, and attempted to open the cap. This, too, did not come to pass.

I gritted my teeth, clamped the pliers down like the jaws of a wolverine with tetanus, dropped my chi and centered my gravity and planted my feet and all that stuff, and went 'HAAAAIIIII!" and twisted, a mighty twist, the sort of twist that Hercules would presumably deliver to the last neck of the hydra as a coup de grace.

The cap held. The rest of the tube did not, which is how one of my favorite Tool shirts and a section of my chin became quite a lovely shade of antique blue.

Fortunately, since it's gouache, it washed out, as I hunched over the sink muttering obscenities, and by some stroke of grace from the art gods, the explosion missed both the carpet and my painting. I squeezed the offending tube out into a handy palette for future access, hopefully without explosions.

This never happens with pixels.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.